"Gabungan Pertubuhan Islam bukan kerajaan (ACCIN) mahu kilang coklat Cadbury yang dua produknya dikesan mempunyai DNA babi membayar kos menukar darah kepada semua umat Islam yang telah termakan bahan haram berkenaan. Selain itu, menurut jurucakap ACCIN Sabariah Abdullah, yang mempunyai 18 NGO bernaung di bawahnya - mendesak supaya saman hingga berbilion-bilion ringgit ke atas syarikat antarabangsa itu…"

Hmpph. Aku agak marah bila dapat tau pasal benda ni. Sebab bangang sangat idea dia nih. Dan bila aku naik marah, mula lah aku nak speaking English ni. So..
Although I think her proposition for mass blood transfusion/purification is totally nonsensical, I felt a scratch in my brain, thus pulsating this urge to impose few questions to Puan ACCIN because she seems like an intelligent lady at first glance. But mostly these questions are all merely for my own amusement.

First off, where can we get this 'halal' blood supply? And we sure need a lot of it too, because admit it, Cadbury bars are yummy, so basically most of us Malaysian Muslims have unintentionally popped our cherries and are now in dire need for the so-called 'blood purification', hence explaining the circus parade. We're all biting our nails clean on this one, aren't we?
And what about the current national blood supply that's going to be the core element of this mega blood transfusion project? Is the existing supply enough? Do we need to segmentise the entire national bloodbank into Muslim and non-Muslim origins? And even if we have the capacity to execute such ludicrous idea, how would we know if the Muslim origin blood is 'suci'? How would we know if the donor have never eaten those gazetted Cadbury chocs or any other haram food in their entire life? Do we have to make assesments, conduct interviews and do background checks on all Muslim donors?
And if all else fails, (I'm just conveniently assuming that more than 50% of the total 14.8 million Malaysian Muslims may have consumed the banned Cadbury at least once in their lifetime, which would also automatically X their name off the potential 'pure blood' donor list), do we need to import blood from other Muslim countries and do background checks on all foreign donors too? Does Jakim need to step in and produce certificate for blood now?
BAPAK COMPLICATED, PUAN OII.
So basically your proposition is totally absurd and with all due respect, made you stray away from the corridor of intelligence and fall straight into the pit of utter retardness. Blood purification?! *facepalm* Your paranoia only reflects your shallow understanding of the basics of the religion. I may not be a pioust Islamic scholar Ustaz, but I believe that God forgives unintentional acts of sin, unconditionally. For He is Most Merciful.
Dah termakan, nak buat macam mana?
In fact, 2 days before all the hoo-haas last week, my parents brought home packs of Cadburys from Labuan, and the whole family had a nice Cadbury session. But after discovering the Jakim gazette, we stayed composed. Because we've found comfort in the basics. We just stopped eating the balance chocs. As simple as that. There's no need to turn into vampires and go on a campaign for new replacement blood. That is by far the most absurd proposition I've ever tried to ponder.
Maybe anxiety stricken people like Puan ACCIN and her bunch need to calm down and if in doubt, refer to scholars or wait for a statement from Majlis Fatwa. Go ahead and sue Cadbury for a gazillion Ringgit, because you think it might teach them a lesson. While you're at it, sue Jakim as well for letting it slip past their radar for years (don't forget my share). Heck, do whatever you need to do to comfort yourself, that's your right. Just please don't go full retard in public and embarrass us anymore. Kes Raja Bomoh baru nak reda, dia bawak pulak sarkis baru.
Lepas satu, satu. Aduhhhh.
Agama kita mudah dan indah wahai Puan ACCIN, dan semestinya tak sengal macam kepala otak Puan dan kawan-kawan. Hishhh.